Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
