the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There's always time for handjobs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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