We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
