I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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