***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
