Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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