Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
