He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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