Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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