ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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