The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
