that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
