My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize