Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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