You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
