Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
