i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize