On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
