you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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