I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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