is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I skipped work to stalk him.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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