dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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