what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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