Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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