This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
