I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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