I'm drive I can fine osifer
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
