I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The uberlube is also flammable
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
