u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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