last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize