i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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