I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The uberlube is also flammable
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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