Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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