Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
