do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
