OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
