there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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