So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
