Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am available for nakedness
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
