Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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