doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
