Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
