I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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