If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
