are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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