so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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