I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
