so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
