scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
