Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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