i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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