when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize