i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
