Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
