I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
