Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
