I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize