He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
