Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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