I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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