What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
