I will die if light touches me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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