it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
