Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
