I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
